Cost Cutting Measures: The Wedding Flowers

One of the more expensive and expected elements of any wedding is the flowers. You will probably want flowers, even if your wedding is going to be truly tiny, so here are a few ideas for how to cut down on flower costs.

Use what is in season: if you can adjust your wedding colors to fit the flowers that are in season, you will always save money. My sister in law's wedding was one of the prettiest I have ever seen. She could have afforded any flowers she liked, but her flowers all came from her mother's own flower garden. It was late July and the colors were amazing.

Eliminate the bridal bouquet: if you are having a tiny wedding it is unlikely you are planning the proverbial bouquet toss anyway. Bridal bouquets can cost upwards of $200 or more. Considering the fact that you walk down the isle and almost immediately hand off the bouquet to the maid of honor, that's a lot of money for a little "stage time." Instead, carry the Bible your officiant will read from, the unity candle or something else that is special to you.

Do the flowers yourself: this will work great and save you money if you are planning on using silks. Today, nearly every craft store has everything you need to do your own wedding flowers. Just remember that you are already doing a lot yourself. Don't get so caught up in all the options you overspend, and don't let it go until just before the wedding date. You will have enough to be stressed out over then.

Things to remember--

Use silks or use real, but don't use both. Silks look great on their own, but next to real flowers they look--well, like silks.

If you are going to order flowers, order them two to six months ahead of time.

If you want fresh and don't mind doing a little arranging yourself, forget to mention the flowers are for a wedding. Wedding flowers are often priced 25-100% higher than other flowers for no better reason than you said "wedding."

My favorite--

My best friend approached the local vocational school she had graduated from. She got her flowers for about 40% of what the lowest priced commercial florist in the area wanted.

wedding

The Tiny Wedding Ceremony: Your Dream Location

When you are trying to decide on where to have your small wedding, one of the things that should influence your decision is the dream you have always had about where your wedding would be.

What surroundings would you love to exchange those vows in?


Have you always wanted a chapel ceremony? Or would you like the beach, the woods, a or a beautiful park? Have you always wanted to be married in your parents home? Would you like to say your vows on your fiance's family farm?

Or maybe your idea is more extravagant--the top of a downtown skyscraper, a Vegas casino, paragliding, bungee jumping?

Once you have determined your dream locale, AND discussed it with your fiancee', you may be surprised by what you are able to create. Call around, you may not be able to uproot and head to California for a beach wedding, but the state park may have a secluded beach on a large lake. Vegas casinos offer wedding packages from the ridiculously expensive to the completely reasonable. Who do you know who lives in or works at a skyscraper downtown?

Remember, if your dream since you were a young man was to be married in a clearing in the woods, you won't be satisfied if you don't at least discuss that dream with your fiancee'. Who knows? Her mom might know just the place.

Cost Cutting Measures: The Wedding Gown

Did you know the average wedding ensemble runs $2,000? From the foundations up women spend more money on a wedding dress than they do on any other outfit they will ever wear. You may think that is actually very fitting and how it should be. But do you really need to spend $2000?

The dress itself usually runs about $800. You will probably wear that dress one time. Is it really worth $800?

Here are a few ideas on how to save $800 to $2,000

Borrow a dress: don't you have married friends who are about the same size as you? Didn't you really adore one of their dresses? It is very likely that dress is sitting around, lovingly preserved in a gown box. See if you can borrow it. Instead of spending $800 or more, spend $100 to have the dress cleaned and reboxed after your ceremony. You may find your friend is so flattered you want to wear her gown that she will even pay for the cleaning as a wedding gift.

Rent a dress: many large cities have places that will rent you the perfect gown for about $200. If you are having a destination wedding (Vegas, Miami, New York etc.) you may find this is the best route. You go, pick out the dress and veil, wear it for a day and return it. Keep in mind you will have to be careful as it is a rental, but would you be any less careful if you had spent $2000?

Wear an heirloom: this can be one of the most beautiful ways to get a dress on the cheap and at the same time honor your mother, mother-in-law, grandmother etc. To pull this off you will probably have to find a seamstress skilled in making adjustments on vintage fabric. You may want to make some updates to the dress as well, but don't do so without the express permission of the owner. Once the wedding is over, have the dress preserved and reboxed so another family member can do the same sometime down the road.

Get one on the cheap: you can get really great dresses at sample sales and on eBay. Just remember these are generally non-returnable, so buyer beware. Be willing to try some less expensive fabrics as well. Remember, your photos are the part of the wedding that stay with you. The camera can't tell the difference between $100/yd. satin and $10/yd. sateen.

Don't wear a wedding gown: before you freak out, we are on a website called "a tiny wedding." Think about the average wedding gown. Nothing tiny about it. But if you check the racks shortly after prom time there are going to be plenty of white and off white prom dresses left. Find one you like in your size, add a few embellishments and a veil, and voila! the perfect dress for a tiny wedding. If you are getting married at home, on the beach, in a small chapel or outdoors at all, you won't want a long train which will just get in the way and be filthy at the end of the day anyway.

My favorite:

I have seen a wedding where the bride wore a prom dress she found on a sale at a Deb shop in early July for $12. She added white slippers and had the netting part of a veil tucked into an elaborate bun on her head so the hair made the top of the veil. That netting (precut and finished for a veil) is available at the local craft stores for under $10. She was married in a local park at the Japanese garden. Absolutely Beautiful!

Until tomorrow~Many Blessings

What Exactly is a Tiny Wedding?

That all depends on your interpretation of the word. For some people a tiny wedding means the bride, the groom and the officiant. For others a tiny wedding is anything with less than 100 people. I like to think of a small wedding as anything involving less than 50 people (including guests) and a tiny wedding as anything involving under or about 20. This is where I get that number.

officiant
bride
groom
bride's parents
groom's parents
maid of honor
best man

I find these people to be the essentials. If I count up to twenty or so as still a tiny wedding, I have accounted for living grandparents and/or children of the couple, immediate siblings of the couple and the parent's spouses should they be divorced.

For me, anyone you invite to your tiny wedding is someone who holds an increcibly special place in your heart. If you cross over into 30, 40, 50 or 100 people, fine. When you decide on a tiny wedding it is only your definition of tiny that matters.

Until tomorrow, Many Blessings~

Don't Remodel For the Sake of a Wedding

One of the things that prevents couples from getting married at home is the automatic reaction that you cannot possibly have people into your house when it "looks like that."

OK--why not?

If you are having a home wedding you are probably only inviting the most essential of all your friends and family. Will your mother think any less of you because you didn't redo the kitchen? Will your best friend feel like you didn't care enough if you don't replace all the bathroom fixtures? Will you love your fiancee' any less if the door knob isn't brand new?

Of course not.

In general, unless your home is really in need of major repairs, a coat of paint, a nice waxing of the floors and a good cleaning is all you need to get a house ready for a wedding. The flowers, decorations, chairs and overall feeling of joy for you as a couple will be more than enough to compensate for anything your home might lack. If it is good enough for you to share your life in, it is good enough for your loved ones to watch you enter that life in.

So have a beautiful at home wedding in your home as it is and save your money for more important things--like the honeymoon ;)

Until tomorrow~Many Blessings

Handling Opposition

Of all the things that can stall a tiny wedding, opposition from friends and family has to be number one. You are getting married and suddenly your aunt can't understand why you don't want to invite her, her husband, her four kids, and dates for the older two. Do you love your aunt? Of course. Is she the reason you are getting married? No.

When you as a couple decide that you want a small wedding, the primary responsibility of your friends and family is to honor you by respecting your decision.

We no longer live in an era when weddings are planned from childhood and paid for exclusively by the bride's parents. Huge weddings mean huge costs. I have been to weddings that cost well over thirty thousand dollars. I have worked for a major hotel brand, and watched as a large wedding totaled over $120,000. Now, that huge wedding was exactly what the bride and groom wanted, and their families were financially well off, so even though that wedding cost nearly three times the average annual US household income, I could see nothing wrong with it.

Was the $120,000 wedding beautiful? Yes. Was it more beautiful than my best friend's $500 wedding? Not in the least.

If you want a small wedding and you are being pressured to have a large one ask yourself these questions.

Do you, as a couple, really want a small wedding?
Would a large wedding put a financial strain on you or your families?
Is there another way you can honor those you cannot invite, so they know you haven't simply forgotten them?

If you, as a couple, answer yes to these three questions, it is time to politely but firmly let everyone know you will be having a tiny wedding.

Until Tomorrow, Many Blessings

The At Home Wedding

I think my absolute favorite location for a small wedding is in the home. Generally it is the home of the bride's parents, the couple or a very good friend of the couple. What is a better way to say "You are special," than to invite someone into your home? The very nature of an at-home wedding keeps it small and intimate. After all, how many people do you know that can comfortably bring 100-500 people into their home? Tomorrow, let's begin to discuss the at home wedding. Were you married at home? Would you like to be? Send me your questions and advice and I'll share them here.

Yes, A Tiny Wedding

After helping several friends and family design their weddings, I realized the tiny, intimate affairs were the most beautiful and special weddings around. The amount of stress a couple goes through planning their wedding is amazing. Why do they go through all that trying to make a perfect day for everyone else? I have seen couples get married at sunset on the beach with only a few close friends around and found it to be far more lovely than some services I've attended in a church with hundreds of yawning onlookers who couldn't wait to eat.

I invite you to send me information on your own tiny wedding. Where did you have it? Who was there? Was it all you expected or did you feel like something was missing? You do not have to agree with me to contribute.

Let's all plan atinywedding.com together.