A Tiny Wedding

Cost Cutting Measures for a Tiny Wedding: The Cake

2007-09-23T07:51:00.000-07:00

Even though your wedding is going to be small, you will almost definitely want a wedding cake. Here are some ideas for saving money on a cake:

Don't mention the cake is for a wedding: you are looking at a small cake anyway. Why not simply get a round cake of your favorite flavor and have it frosted in white? Put your own topper on it an Voila! instant tiny wedding cake. No need to pay $3 a slice for a $1 a slice cake just because someone realizes it's for your wedding.

Make it yourself: it is a lot less daunting task to create a cake for 10 than it is to create one for 100. If you enjoy decorating and would like to try it, go for it. If it doesn't turn out just like you want you can always head to the local store for a plain white cake like in the above example.

Find a friend to make it: my own wedding was for 125 or so people. Not exactly what I call a tiny wedding, but I was young, what did I know. Anyway, if I managed to get a gorgeous cake for just the cost of the ingredients, you should be able to. Today many people who would love to get you a gift are strapped for cash. If you have a friend whose talents extend to cake making, ask. They would probably love to create a custom cake for you rather than get you a gift. And while most gifts will be quickly used up and forgotten, the memories of your wedding cake will last forever.

If you want the tiered look but don't want expense--

Try getting two premade cakes at the bakery and tier them yourself: bakeries usually have plain white cakes ready for custom decoration. Carry two out in graduated sizes. Set the smaller (cardboard included) right on top of the larger and hide the cardboard with silk flowers that match your bridal bouquet. (You can also use real flowers this way, if you make sure your flowers are edible.)

If your wedding is truly tiny:

Go with cupcakes: this is becoming an ever more popular option for even big weddings. Get a teeny tiny white cake for cutting, then buy or make a dozen or so plain white frosted cupcakes for the guests. Actually, this option can be something as basic as the suggestion here, or can become as complex as creating individually boxed tiny replicas of a full scale wedding cake.

Remember, what you do depends only on your budget and your imagination.

A Tiny Wedding Provides Flexibility

2007-09-13T10:52:00.000-07:00

If you are able to keep your wedding small you will find there are a lot of special advantages. For example:

A tiny wedding can be held almost anywhere. If your heart is set on flying over the Grand Canyon, hiking to a summit or scuba diving as you say your vows, it can be done.

"Receptions" can be intimate parties rather than huge affairs. Think of how many places you can have a party for 500. Now 200. 100. 50. 25. 10. Now, can't you think of exponentially more places to have your party as the number goes down? A major benefit to the tiny wedding.

You won't be stuck with "reception food." Catered food tends to be mediocre and overpriced. For a tiny wedding you can simply call in a big carry out order to your favorite restaurant. And if Aunt Nancy wants to cater for you, food for 12 is a way smaller responsibility than food for 100.

The event is more flexible. You have always hated the bouquet and garter toss. If you have 200 people, there will be disappointment if no one gets a chance to snag your bouquet and watch you get embarrassed as the garter is removed. If you have 20, no one will care.

This is just a sampling of the often overlooked advantages of a tiny wedding. What is the most important to you?

Until next time~Many Blessings

Don't Mention the Wedding

2007-09-12T08:25:00.000-07:00

When you are purchasing items for your tiny wedding, unless you have no choice (like with the gown), don't mention the items are for a wedding.

Examples:

Flowers--most florists upcharge the exact same flowers for a wedding.

Reception Halls--if you are renting the hall on a pick up and drop off the keys basis, don't mention the wedding and you might just get the hall at a savings. Of course if the hall is also catering, you don't have much choice.

Catering--this one can be tricky, but if you call and order cold cut platters you pick up or food they simply drop off, you may see savings on the exact same items if they don't realize they are catering a wedding.

There are tons more examples. I am not suggesting you not get the best you can get. I am not suggesting you lie or "rip off" your vendors or service providers. But if they are going to turn a reasonable profit at the non-wedding price for the exact same item or service (they are not going to quote a price that loses money no matter what), I see no reason to be charged extra for anything just because it is a wedding you are buying for.

Until Next Time~Many Blessings

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Cost Cutting Measures for a Tiny Wedding: The Photos

2007-09-10T11:05:00.000-07:00

I think that one great way to save money on your wedding today (I would NOT have recommended this 10 years ago) is to have a couple of friends use their digital cameras to capture your images. In all likelihood, one or two of your friends already have good digital cameras and memory cards and would love to help you out with this part of the wedding. You can have them upload the photos to a photo service like Wal Mart's, and you can then pick up a CD of your pics for under $5, giving you time to use your home computer to decide which ones you want to print (or have printed). You can also do all the editing you need at home.

One thing you will probably want done professionally is a portrait. My sister Claudia used the above technique to get her ceremony and reception shots, then went to Sears portrait studio after she came back from her honeymoon. The resulting pics were gorgeous.

Lowest professional quote for Claudia's tiny wedding was $1200, for time and a select number of prints. Additional prints would be extra, and at a premium because they are copyrighted by the photographer.

Claudia got her pictures using the above combination for under $400, including a huge, framed 24 x 36 portrait from Sears (bonus!). And she can reprint all her ceremony and reception pics whenever she wants, cropped or edited the way she likes, without paying an upfee to the photographer.

My favorite little known incentive for handling your photos this way is the fact that most (not all) professional photographers purge their backstock after 2-10 years. So if your favorite wedding photo gets ruined in a flood seven years after your wedding you may be out of luck when it comes to replacing it if you used a professional. If that photo is on a CD locked away in your safe deposit box, replacing it is going to cost you the price of the photo, and no heartache necessary.

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Cost Cutting Measures: The Wedding Flowers

2007-08-31T07:35:00.000-07:00

One of the more expensive and expected elements of any wedding is the flowers. You will probably want flowers, even if your wedding is going to be truly tiny, so here are a few ideas for how to cut down on flower costs.

Use what is in season: if you can adjust your wedding colors to fit the flowers that are in season, you will always save money. My sister in law's wedding was one of the prettiest I have ever seen. She could have afforded any flowers she liked, but her flowers all came from her mother's own flower garden. It was late July and the colors were amazing.

Eliminate the bridal bouquet: if you are having a tiny wedding it is unlikely you are planning the proverbial bouquet toss anyway. Bridal bouquets can cost upwards of $200 or more. Considering the fact that you walk down the isle and almost immediately hand off the bouquet to the maid of honor, that's a lot of money for a little "stage time." Instead, carry the Bible your officiant will read from, the unity candle or something else that is special to you.

Do the flowers yourself: this will work great and save you money if you are planning on using silks. Today, nearly every craft store has everything you need to do your own wedding flowers. Just remember that you are already doing a lot yourself. Don't get so caught up in all the options you overspend, and don't let it go until just before the wedding date. You will have enough to be stressed out over then.

Things to remember--

Use silks or use real, but don't use both. Silks look great on their own, but next to real flowers they look--well, like silks.

If you are going to order flowers, order them two to six months ahead of time.

If you want fresh and don't mind doing a little arranging yourself, forget to mention the flowers are for a wedding. Wedding flowers are often priced 25-100% higher than other flowers for no better reason than you said "wedding."

My favorite--

My best friend approached the local vocational school she had graduated from. She got her flowers for about 40% of what the lowest priced commercial florist in the area wanted.

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The Tiny Wedding Ceremony: Your Dream Location

2007-08-30T06:51:00.000-07:00

When you are trying to decide on where to have your small wedding, one of the things that should influence your decision is the dream you have always had about where your wedding would be.

What surroundings would you love to exchange those vows in?

Have you always wanted a chapel ceremony? Or would you like the beach, the woods, a or a beautiful park? Have you always wanted to be married in your parents home? Would you like to say your vows on your fiance's family farm?

Or maybe your idea is more extravagant--the top of a downtown skyscraper, a Vegas casino, paragliding, bungee jumping?

Once you have determined your dream locale, AND discussed it with your fiancee', you may be surprised by what you are able to create. Call around, you may not be able to uproot and head to California for a beach wedding, but the state park may have a secluded beach on a large lake. Vegas casinos offer wedding packages from the ridiculously expensive to the completely reasonable. Who do you know who lives in or works at a skyscraper downtown?

Remember, if your dream since you were a young man was to be married in a clearing in the woods, you won't be satisfied if you don't at least discuss that dream with your fiancee'. Who knows? Her mom might know just the place.

Cost Cutting Measures: The Wedding Gown

2007-08-28T06:24:00.000-07:00

Did you know the average wedding ensemble runs $2,000? From the foundations up women spend more money on a wedding dress than they do on any other outfit they will ever wear. You may think that is actually very fitting and how it should be. But do you really need to spend $2000?

The dress itself usually runs about $800. You will probably wear that dress one time. Is it really worth $800?

Here are a few ideas on how to save $800 to $2,000

Borrow a dress: don't you have married friends who are about the same size as you? Didn't you really adore one of their dresses? It is very likely that dress is sitting around, lovingly preserved in a gown box. See if you can borrow it. Instead of spending $800 or more, spend $100 to have the dress cleaned and reboxed after your ceremony. You may find your friend is so flattered you want to wear her gown that she will even pay for the cleaning as a wedding gift.

Rent a dress: many large cities have places that will rent you the perfect gown for about $200. If you are having a destination wedding (Vegas, Miami, New York etc.) you may find this is the best route. You go, pick out the dress and veil, wear it for a day and return it. Keep in mind you will have to be careful as it is a rental, but would you be any less careful if you had spent $2000?

Wear an heirloom: this can be one of the most beautiful ways to get a dress on the cheap and at the same time honor your mother, mother-in-law, grandmother etc. To pull this off you will probably have to find a seamstress skilled in making adjustments on vintage fabric. You may want to make some updates to the dress as well, but don't do so without the express permission of the owner. Once the wedding is over, have the dress preserved and reboxed so another family member can do the same sometime down the road.

Get one on the cheap: you can get really great dresses at sample sales and on eBay. Just remember these are generally non-returnable, so buyer beware. Be willing to try some less expensive fabrics as well. Remember, your photos are the part of the wedding that stay with you. The camera can't tell the difference between $100/yd. satin and $10/yd. sateen.

Don't wear a wedding gown: before you freak out, we are on a website called "a tiny wedding." Think about the average wedding gown. Nothing tiny about it. But if you check the racks shortly after prom time there are going to be plenty of white and off white prom dresses left. Find one you like in your size, add a few embellishments and a veil, and voila! the perfect dress for a tiny wedding. If you are getting married at home, on the beach, in a small chapel or outdoors at all, you won't want a long train which will just get in the way and be filthy at the end of the day anyway.

My favorite:

I have seen a wedding where the bride wore a prom dress she found on a sale at a Deb shop in early July for $12. She added white slippers and had the netting part of a veil tucked into an elaborate bun on her head so the hair made the top of the veil. That netting (precut and finished for a veil) is available at the local craft stores for under $10. She was married in a local park at the Japanese garden. Absolutely Beautiful!

Until tomorrow~Many Blessings

What Exactly is a Tiny Wedding?

2007-08-27T10:20:00.000-07:00

That all depends on your interpretation of the word. For some people a tiny wedding means the bride, the groom and the officiant. For others a tiny wedding is anything with less than 100 people. I like to think of a small wedding as anything involving less than 50 people (including guests) and a tiny wedding as anything involving under or about 20. This is where I get that number.

officiant
bride
groom
bride's parents
groom's parents
maid of honor
best man

I find these people to be the essentials. If I count up to twenty or so as still a tiny wedding, I have accounted for living grandparents and/or children of the couple, immediate siblings of the couple and the parent's spouses should they be divorced.

For me, anyone you invite to your tiny wedding is someone who holds an increcibly special place in your heart. If you cross over into 30, 40, 50 or 100 people, fine. When you decide on a tiny wedding it is only your definition of tiny that matters.

Until tomorrow, Many Blessings~

Don't Remodel For the Sake of a Wedding

2007-08-24T10:20:00.001-07:00

One of the things that prevents couples from getting married at home is the automatic reaction that you cannot possibly have people into your house when it "looks like that."

OK--why not?

If you are having a home wedding you are probably only inviting the most essential of all your friends and family. Will your mother think any less of you because you didn't redo the kitchen? Will your best friend feel like you didn't care enough if you don't replace all the bathroom fixtures? Will you love your fiancee' any less if the door knob isn't brand new?

Of course not.

In general, unless your home is really in need of major repairs, a coat of paint, a nice waxing of the floors and a good cleaning is all you need to get a house ready for a wedding. The flowers, decorations, chairs and overall feeling of joy for you as a couple will be more than enough to compensate for anything your home might lack. If it is good enough for you to share your life in, it is good enough for your loved ones to watch you enter that life in.

So have a beautiful at home wedding in your home as it is and save your money for more important things--like the honeymoon ;)

Until tomorrow~Many Blessings

Handling Opposition

2007-08-23T06:35:00.000-07:00

Of all the things that can stall a tiny wedding, opposition from friends and family has to be number one. You are getting married and suddenly your aunt can't understand why you don't want to invite her, her husband, her four kids, and dates for the older two. Do you love your aunt? Of course. Is she the reason you are getting married? No.

When you as a couple decide that you want a small wedding, the primary responsibility of your friends and family is to honor you by respecting your decision.

We no longer live in an era when weddings are planned from childhood and paid for exclusively by the bride's parents. Huge weddings mean huge costs. I have been to weddings that cost well over thirty thousand dollars. I have worked for a major hotel brand, and watched as a large wedding totaled over $120,000. Now, that huge wedding was exactly what the bride and groom wanted, and their families were financially well off, so even though that wedding cost nearly three times the average annual US household income, I could see nothing wrong with it.

Was the $120,000 wedding beautiful? Yes. Was it more beautiful than my best friend's $500 wedding? Not in the least.

If you want a small wedding and you are being pressured to have a large one ask yourself these questions.

Do you, as a couple, really want a small wedding?
Would a large wedding put a financial strain on you or your families?
Is there another way you can honor those you cannot invite, so they know you haven't simply forgotten them?

If you, as a couple, answer yes to these three questions, it is time to politely but firmly let everyone know you will be having a tiny wedding.

Until Tomorrow, Many Blessings

The At Home Wedding

2007-08-22T06:26:00.000-07:00

I think my absolute favorite location for a small wedding is in the home. Generally it is the home of the bride's parents, the couple or a very good friend of the couple. What is a better way to say "You are special," than to invite someone into your home? The very nature of an at-home wedding keeps it small and intimate. After all, how many people do you know that can comfortably bring 100-500 people into their home? Tomorrow, let's begin to discuss the at home wedding. Were you married at home? Would you like to be? Send me your questions and advice and I'll share them here.

Yes, A Tiny Wedding

2007-08-21T11:31:00.000-07:00

After helping several friends and family design their weddings, I realized the tiny, intimate affairs were the most beautiful and special weddings around. The amount of stress a couple goes through planning their wedding is amazing. Why do they go through all that trying to make a perfect day for everyone else? I have seen couples get married at sunset on the beach with only a few close friends around and found it to be far more lovely than some services I've attended in a church with hundreds of yawning onlookers who couldn't wait to eat.

I invite you to send me information on your own tiny wedding. Where did you have it? Who was there? Was it all you expected or did you feel like something was missing? You do not have to agree with me to contribute.

Let's all plan atinywedding.com together.